Saturday, February 11, 2012

Merry Christmas!!

Dear AJ,
It's a bit surreal writing to I look at your sweet face and watch you play with YOUR home, surrounded by YOUR family, YOUR things, YOUR dog. Were we really in Ukraine for 45 days and now you are home with us forever? Yep, we were. And yep, you are.

Grammie and Grampa Carroll, in thinking of their grandbabies and especially your first Christmas at home with your family, put their Christmas tree up on New Year's Day. It's been up and decorated and waiting for us to come home. Today is the day we celebrate being home with you, being home with your brother, and the birth of the One who made it all possible for this sweet little family to grow. Happy Birthday Jesus.

We remain in awe of what You give and how You love. I still ask, "Why us, Papa? We surely don't deserve to be the parents of two awesome, gorgeous little boys. And, I, surely don't deserve the dear husband that You gave to me. So, how come?" You already know that I used to openly say how much I hated You. I don't believe in You. I cared more about the things of this world and thought even if You did exist, You were useless to me and my all important needs and wants. That entire sad time of my life, You patiently waited at my door. You stood at the door and knocked. Not obnoxiously, just softly and patiently. You called my name and told me how much You loved me through that door that I kept closed to You for so long. The day I made the choice to hear Your voice and open the door, You were still there. You were not tired, not bored, not angry that it took me so long to answer. Instead, that day, You let this confused, tired, sad little girl fall into Your arms and say I'm sorry. You took me anyway- in all my busted up broken-ness, in all the guilt, in all the shame of many bad choices, in all the hate, in all the anger, in all the lies- You spoke Your truth and made me new. Not only did you speak truth into my life and tell me with Your words of Your never ending, unconditional, never giving up, never tiring love for me- You poured out Your blessings into my life- a loving husband and leader for my family, the endurance to be the mama I needed to be for my precious Anthony, and now another perfect little son. I'm on my knees in awe of You. I will never understand Your ways as they will never be my own, but thank you. All I have and all I am, is Yours alone.

So, AJ- today is Christmas in February. We will watch Ralphie and It's A Wonderful Life, we will open gifts, the Christmas lights will be glowing on the tree, we will feast, we will laugh, snuggle, and nap. But most importantly, AJ- we will remember the One, who from all blessings flow. We will remember the One who came to our rescue to save us from ourselves. We'll remember the One who humbled Himself to become a man and live on the Earth- knowing He had a ransom to pay. We'll remember and praise the One who made the choice out of love for His babies- that He would get what He didn't deserve, so that we would not get what we so clearly did. Happy birthday Jesus. Happy Birthday. We love You.

It's almost time to go to Grammie's and Grampa's, AJ!! Let's get this party started!
To the moon and back,
Mommy and Daddy

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